$40 off? Let's Cyber, Baby!
Many of you may not know that before Cyber Monday was commonly known as a day where you could get crazy deals online, it was a day that celebrated an ancient pastime known as cybering. Cybering, for you young bucks out there, was when two guys would connect on an online chat platform, convince each other that one of them was not a guy, and then pretend that they were making sweet, sweet, textual love. Horrifying? Yes. Hilarious? Also, yes.
At Windscribe, we take cybering very seriously. It's not all about your a/s/l, we want to get to know you for you. We don't want your nudes, you can keep those. We don't want to roleplay a steamy encounter with you, even though a steamy night with us has been known to cure COVID. All we want is to hold you, protect you, to make you feel safe... online. So we combined the ancient meaning of cyber, with the ridiculous modern concept of a sale on a Monday, to offer you the sexiest deal there is... Windscribe Pro for $29 per year!
For only $2.4166666 a month, you can get all of the cyber protection you need for your cyber sessions on your cyberputer with your cyberlovers. Hide your IP like you hide your real age online. Block ads and trackers like you block your mom from coming into your room while you are "doing homework.” Load web pages faster than American doctors are filling Xanax prescriptions after the election. With Windscribe Pro, you can do it all.
This steal of a deal, this monument to our inability to calculate profit margins, will only last one more week, so get Pro for $29 while you still can. Once the deal is done, it may never happen again. How does Windscribe make money off of this insane sale? We don't even know! We just modeled this deal on the wisdom of the Canadian Minister of Finance, a former journalist with no actual degrees in finance or economics! Have you seen the Canadian dollar recently? It's worth less than a presidential endorsement from P. Diddy!
Many smooches, and happy Cyber Monday!!
Team Windscribe
