Other weekdays matter too!
Every November, all we hear about is Black Friday this, Black Friday that. Well, we’re sick of it! What about the other days of the week? Days like Burning Diarrhea Brown Monday (so named after the effect Monday has on a human), or Wall Street-Stole-My-Pension Red Wednesday (so named because red reminds bankers of their favorite beverage: human blood)? All forgotten in the face of the mighty Black Friday, the only day where you are encouraged to walk over the screaming corpses of other human beings to buy a $50 TV that was marked up to $500 so the sale price could be $490. And they say consumerism is the reason for the world’s problems... but we ask you, how else are the children that make the Nike and Apple products you buy supposed to build up their finger strength?
How your iPhone gets made
Of course, there have been many other Black Fridays in history. On Black Friday in 1929, Wall Street crashed, effectively turning the walls of banking into streets of sadness. In Canada circa 1959, Black Friday referred to the cancellation of the Canadian Aerospace industry’s Avro Arrow, Canada’s first jet plane. Now we defend our airspace with slingshots and beavers tied to helium balloons. You laugh, but those little beavers can chew through the hull of an incoming F-16 in less time than it takes a politician to deny they flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s jet (approx. 13.53 seconds).
Politics!
Since most Black Fridays are actually pretty terrible celebrations, we decided to throw one of our own, the Black Fridayest Friday to end all Fridays, this Friday. Unlike the regular Black Friday, it includes a lot of pretty sweet features such as:
- Not getting COVID after waking up at 3am to stand in line to get three discount VHS copies of Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.
- Not getting COVID while trampling over the formerly moving body of a formerly alive human being to get a Wifi enabled fidget spinner.
- Not having to contribute to foreign worker exploitation (only local, thanks Windscribe Devs!)
- Online privacy and security for you and your family.
So how much can you save on an excellent VPN service that also hires arts degree holders to write their emails? So much! How much? This much! We realize that hand gestures don't translate very well in emails, so we’ll just write it down for you.
This Friday, or anytime until then, you can get 2 years of Pro for only $69. Yes, for a single funny sex number, you can get 2 Years of Windscribe Pro service. You can tell we are serious, since this font size is bigger.
Get the Deal Just 9 cents per day!
You may be thinking, "I already use Windscribe for free, is Pro really worth it?" Good question Watson! We can only answer it with pure undeniable logic. Think about it, if we put this much effort into our emails (instead of sending you the sun-dried marketing poop that usually floods your inbox), imagine how much more of our effortless genius goes into Windscribe itself. Hint: it's a lot. So treat yourself to tons more locations, unlocked streaming, full ROBERT access and ad blocking. I mean look at how cheap it is!
