Windscribe's Spooky Sale Has Ended
Our Halloween Sale has now ended - but you can still get Windscribe for $69/year!
Nowadays children don't believe in any of the old-school supernatural scares. Ghosts? Werewolves? Vampires? British cuisine? That's kindergarten shit.
If you wanna scare a kid these days, you have to dress like global warming, or worse, P. Diddy. And dressing up as the Diddler poses its own set of dangers as painting one's face black is a huge no-no, unless you're the Prime Minister of Canada (zing!). So where does that leave you for scary costume ideas? Fear not, here is a list of costume ideas for you:
- Buy a discounted roast beef, tape it to your chest, and pour White-Out all over yourself - presto! You're Elon Musk on a yacht!
- Go to San Francisco, collect street poop, cover yourself in it, and you can dress up like Your Online Privacy Rights. Hold your applause, we know, we know, topical and witty. It's just what we do.
- Join the Israeli Military cyber defense squad, then acquire ExpressVPN, and go partying dressed as their secretive owner, Teddy Sagi!
If you are like us and don't have time for Halloween shenanigans because you are busy building things, or are too socially awkward to dress up as a slutty astronaut/cat/presidential candidate and party, fear not! You can just dress up your IP address as another sluttier IP address instead! It's exactly like Halloween except without cavities! Get Windscribe Pro and take your IP address trick or treating online for only $49 a year!
Windscribe's Scariest Sale
Whether you go out or stay in, we hope you have a safe and fun Halloween. Be careful when partaking in orgiastic candy-eating sessions and remember not to eat too many pillowcases full of those infant-fist-sized chocolate confections - lest you're forced to release a torrential storm into your toilet. The key is to eat juuuust enough to turn those Reese's Pieces into feces pieces. Don't ask how we know. Just trust us.
P.S. Don't forget to join us on Discord... and in case you spent all your money on a Predator costume rental, don't forget you can get Windscribe Pro absolutely FREE... by referring your pals!
Happy Halloween to all you halloweiners and halloweenettes out there!
Love, as always,
Team Windscribe