Important Announcement About Your Data

At Windscribe, we’ve always prided ourselves on doing things differently. No shady ad deals, no creepy third-party tracking, no spending piles of money trying to convince people on Instagram that a VPN will fix their dating life. We've made one thing clear: we will never pay for external advertising. And we’re sticking to that.

But here's the thing — doing things ethically doesn’t exactly make it rain dollar bills. While our competitors are out there auctioning off your browsing history like it's a rare Pokémon card, we’ve had to get creative.

So we did what any responsible company would do: we gathered our brightest minds in a poorly ventilated room, stared into the void for 6 hours, and emerged with a revolutionary idea. An idea so bold, so disruptive, it made ChatGPT spontaneously combust.

What if… instead of selling your data to advertisers… we just sold it back to you?

That’s right. No middlemen. No creepy marketers. Just a simple, transparent, 100% ethically questionable transaction between you… and yourself.

Reclaim What Was (Sort of) Yours All Along

Starting today, you can head over to our Data Store™️ and download your complete personal data profile – neatly compiled, lovingly formatted, and entirely free (for the next 7 days).

Ever wanted to know:

How many times you connected to a server in Iceland at 3am?
What anime you may or may not have torrented in 2021?
How often you searched “Is it illegal to download a VPN”?

Now you can. It’s all there, in glorious monospace font.

But Wait – Is This Even Legal?

Probably. Maybe. Look, we’re not lawyers. But we checked with one (okay, we googled it), and as long as we're selling it to you, we're good. It’s your data. You're just buying it back. It's like identity theft, but consensual.

And don’t worry — only you can access your data dump. Not even Jesus can see it. We checked.

Why Are You Doing This?

Some might say this is a cash grab, others might call it a bold commentary on the absurdity of data capitalism.

Honestly, we’re curious to see how many people will actually pay for something they technically already own. Think of it as a social experiment. A mirror held up to society. A beautiful disaster of modern tech ethics.