There are all kinds of Friday's out there: some people celebrate Crack Friday, there's Rebecca Black's Friday, and every working person alive celebrates Slack Friday. But there's only one Friday where you celebrate by standing in lines, blinded by fluorescent mall lights, to buy things you probably don't need. Black Friday. Want a TV for $100? Done. Want a 3-for-1 pack of Truck Nutz for $40 so you can give your Nissan Ultima three sets of balls? Done. Wanna buy six counterfeit NERF guns for $74.99 to give to your kids? Done!! That's what Black Friday is all about. Buying things, big things, small things, things that were made by children for children. It's capitalism's favorite day baby!
That's why Windscribe created Fuchsia Friday. Fuchsia Friday does away with all that Black Friday capitalist consumerism nonsense. No standing in lines, no purchasing garbage that you will never use, and most importantly, Windscribe isn't made by underpaid children in foreign countries. It's made by children right here in North America! We still consider ourselves children because, while we are full-grown adult geniuses, we still have the mental ages of grade-schoolers. Don't believe us? Just watch us laugh for 20 minutes when we hear a fart. This year, us kids have worked tirelessly to bring you the greatest deal ever. Windscribe Pro for only $29 per year!
But isn't asking people to buy a product considered consumerism? How about you shattapa-ya-face, as the Italians say. And to think, some of you thought we weren't cultured. And unlike a three-balled Nissan, the best part about Windscribe Pro is that you will actually use it! There's no toxic plastic packaging, it protects your online information, blocks ads and trackers, and gives you access to all kinds of succulent content - we're talkin' turkey, gravy and the stuffing, all together for just $29 a year!
Buy it for yourself, buy it for your mom, buy it for your ex who's in jail for crimes against park statues! Buy! Buy! Buy! That's the only way to fight against the tyranny of Communism... or something. We've all been watching way too much mainstream media this month, and those political ads on CNN have really poisoned our brains. Aaaanyways...
Love you guys! Lots of smooches!
Team Windscribe
